Thoughts from the Sunday sermon

I was thinking back to the sermon on Sunday, and some thoughts came to mind.

1) Caring for others: As Christians, we belong to a community of God's people, and we should be reaching out to those who are unsaved. Firstly, how much do we even care about the people in our community? Many churches face problems of people leaving, and often it's because they do not feel welcome in the church. I myself have seen cases where people left church, and not many people bothered about them (largely it was the leaders who attempted to maintain contact). Are we in a community just to be in our own comfort groups? Or do we also care about others in our community?
Secondly, I'm beginning to notice that quite a number of newcomers (at least for my church) are Christians looking for a church to settle in. It's our job as people of this church to show care towards these newcomers and help them feel welcome. While not a lot take the effort to mix with them, it's encouraging to see that there are some who really take the effort to get to know them better.
Thirdly, as God's chosen people in this fallen and sinful world, our job is to evangelise the lost and to bring them to come to know God personally. But how much do we care about the people around us? We often feel worried about what others would think of us if we tried sharing the gospel to them. But what would God feel if we didn't try? Thinking back to my on testimony, if my friend didn't try sharing the gospel to me, I may not have found out that she is a Christian. Then where would I turn to when I wanted to go to church? Also, sharing the gospel is our duty, and it's up to God to touch the heart of the person we are sharing to (ie. we should be careful not to force-feed the gospel, but just share it out of care for others).

2) A personal relationship with God: As Christians, we read and study the Bible on a regular basis. Some of us are Christians for only a few months, some are Christians for many years. However, though the Bible is a fundamental part of Christianity, Christianity is not JUST about the Bible. Ultimately, being a Christian is to have an ongoing personal relationship with the living God, and knowing the Bible well is a means to this end. Yet, it's SO easy to just study the Bible for years, and never have a relationship with God. It's REALLY scary, isn't it? Do we have a personal relationship with God?

3) Approval of God and not of man: Living in this fallen world that's filled with worldly desires, we stand out among the crowd when we choose to follow God's ways. People do notice this, and some do admire our faith and ask us about God. But most people will feel that we're strange and weird people who do not know how to enjoy life. Many times, we succumb to peer pressure and pursue worldly desires. However, shouldn't we be seeking approval from God instead of man? Remember, man looks at the actions, but God looks at the heart, and He alone knows our motives. For me personally, I've reached the stage where I've learned to answer to God alone, so often I don't care what people think of me, even if they think I'm weird.

Songs in testimony

I mentioned a few songs in my testimony, so just thought I'll post the lyrics of those songs here.

Lord I Offer My Life:
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain I’m making them Yours

CHORUS
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You

Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting up praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

BRIDGE
What can we give that You have not given
And what do we have that is not already Yours
All we possess are these lives we are living
And that’s what we give to You Lord

Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting up praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life


You Alone:
You are the peace that guards my heart
My strength in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees

For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all of my heart I’ll worship
And unto You I’ll sing

CHORUS
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day


Jesus Lover of My Soul:
Jesus, lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let You go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon the rock and now I know

CHORUS
I love You, I need You
Though my world may fall I’ll never let You go
My Saviour, my closest Friend
I will worship You until the very end

BRIDGE
Worship You, my Lord, till the very end
Worship You, my Lord, till the very end
Worship You, my Lord, till the very end
Worship You, my Lord, till the very end

I love You, I need You
Though my world may fall I’ll never let You go
My Saviour, my closest Friend
I will worship You until the very end


Forever:
I’ll worship at Your throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I’ll sing
For You my Dad and King

I’ll live for all my days
To put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It’ll be for eternity

BRIDGE
And oh, how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross

CHORUS
I’ll worship You my God
I’ll worship You my God
I love You, I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You, be with You

God's last move

Today's Good Friday! I went to church today for the Good Friday service, and the speaker was talking about how on this fateful Friday around 2000 years ago, Jesus bore ALL our sins on the cross. However, he mentioned that although the situation looked quite hopeless, it was only Friday, and Sunday was coming, the day when God would make his last move. While I agree with what he said, the thing that really struck me was that, in some way, God also had a "last move" in my life.

As I was listening to the speaker talking about God's last move, my mind flashed back to the time around April-May 2005. It was a time when the loneliness I was feeling in church had built up to a point where I wanted to leave church and I just felt like giving up on everything. I really felt like I was in a valley of deep darkness and hopelessness. At that point, I think nobody could anything to help me already. However, God had one last move, and like I mentioned in my testimony, I never expected how God's last move would change my life forever. I was just revisiting that period of time this morning, and the fact that I just had my baptism last Sunday makes it more striking. Isn't it amazing that I could go from that point to the point where I decided to get baptised? If God isn't real then I got nothing to say...

Speaking of my baptism, it's still fresh in my mind, both the baptism itself and my testimony (too bad I had to use a shortened of my original testimony as my baptism testimony). Thinking back to those special touching moments really shows me how REAL God's love is, esp in the way it has manifested in my life. I really thank God for touching my life in such a special way (though I have no idea why He didn't do the same for others, I guess He has His own way of doing things) Even today, Good Friday, is also a reminder of God's love. Because of His love for us, Jesus WILLINGLY bore our sins and the pain and humiliation of the cross. Where can we ever find someone like that??

God's love is AMAZING!! :D

My testimony

My own blog! Finally! :D As a first entry, I'll post my testimony. Though I would have liked it to be my baptism testimony, it was way too long haha. This is my own real life story. Trust me, it wasn't an easy journey to where I am now.

My first exposure to Christianity was in Secondary 1, when a Secondary 4 student brought me to a church gathering. However, he didn’t have time to follow up with me, so it came to nothing. Later on, around Secondary 2 or 3, my sister came to Christ and encouraged me to start going to church, but at that time my heart was closed. Around Secondary 3 or 4, I had some family problems, and at the same time I was feeling quite lonely in school as everybody in school had friends that they could be with, while I was alone most of the time. I had no close friends, I had difficulty finding groups for group work and I felt like an outcast in class. I needed people to talk to yet could find no one. I felt so alone that I would often secretly cry and at times I did feel like life was pointless. Over time, I developed an emotional barrier, confining all my stress and problems within me. However, I remembered what others had told me about how powerful God is and I vowed that if God could give me close friends, I would become a Christian.

When I entered NJC in 2003, I found some new friends in JC 1, and 2 of these friends tried sharing the gospel to me, but my heart was still closed. While in JC1, I applied for Student Council and House Representatives, hoping to find close friends. However, my failure to get into both deeply affected me and I felt really saddened, disappointed and upset. It was during this time that some of these friends stood by me and encouraged me continually over the few months that it took for me to recover from these setbacks. I began to realise that I had found some close friends whom I could really count on. In July 2003, God began reminding me of my vow. I spoke to one of my friends who had tried sharing the gospel with me, and on 20th July 2003, she brought me to The Bible Church, Singapore. It was the start of a new journey. I learned that my reason for coming to Christ wasn’t “correct”, but I realised that God had meant it so. I was also quite amazed that some of the youths had quite a strong love for God, and wondered how they could love Him so much when they couldn’t even see Him.

In December 2003, during the Youth Camp, I realised I had strayed away from God, and rededicated my life to Him. I was also involved in preparation for Watch Night and God touched me with a song “Lord I Offer My Life”, a song that somehow felt really meaningful to me. In March the next year, the youths had a Street Evangelism which I was feeling extremely nervous about. On the day before the activity, one of my JC friends brought me to her church for some youth service. During the service, I went to the front to kneel down. Suddenly, I felt a very strong uncontrollable shivering, and at the same time, I felt a powerful reassurance. I knew that God was giving me comfort for the Street Evangelism on the next day.

Some time later in 2004, my friend stopped joining the youths, which saddened me a little. In September 2004, I was feeling quite stressed over the upcoming ‘A’ Levels. I wanted to talk to someone around my age. However, I couldn’t find someone whom I could talk to. It was then that I began to realise my lack of close friends among the youths. Later on, my parents stopped me from going to church for some time as they wanted me to focus on studying for the ‘A’ Levels. I left church feeling rather stressed.
When I came back in December, God taught me through the Youth Camp about what it meant to truly have faith and trust in Him. I began to realise my lack of faith in Him. Later on, during the Servant-Leader’s Retreat, I committed myself through the Servant-Leader’s Covenant to living out a more godly life.

However, the problems were far from over. I still couldn’t find close friends among the youths, and entering NS in January 2005 without being able to find accountability in camp made it worse. From January to May 2005, my faith gradually tumbled. I felt quite alone, and as I was still having family problems, I couldn’t find anyone to talk to. I cried to God many times in my loneliness. I began to wonder why God had brought me here and why I had to suffer so much pain. There were times again when I did feel that living on was pointless since I had come to know God already. During this period, I saw several youths leave the church and often wondered if I would end up like them.

Around late April to early May 2005, I was so overcome by loneliness and the lack of close friends that I was struggling with myself whether I should stay in church. On 15th May 2005, I decided that I couldn’t take the pain anymore and wanted to leave. I still remember that during the Senior Youth teaching, at one point of time, I stopped listening to the teacher, and just took a look around at all the youths. I wondered if any of them knew that it would be my last week in church, or so I thought. Later on in the day, though, I spoke to some of the youth leaders, including one who had left church before. They encouraged me to stay on, and I did. However, I didn’t know what was going to keep me going. I never expected what God was about to do.

During the May Prayer Meeting, we had a devotion in which we were asked a lot about how much we trusted in God. I realised that I still barely trusted God. After that, we sang the song “You Alone”. As I sang the first 2 lines “You are the peace that guards my heart/My strength in times of need”, I realised how meaningless and untrue these lines were to me as my trust, my peace and my strength lay in friendships, not in God. During the song, as I made this realisation, I knelt down and I broke down. Later on, one of the youth leaders took me out to talk to me. That night, I asked God to give me a genuine faith that depended on and trusted in Him alone.

On 4th June 2005, our church had a 100% Praise and Worship event. God touched me with 2 songs, “Jesus Lover of My Soul” and “Forever”. I was especially touched by the song “Forever” and cried as I sang the song. As I sang the lyrics “I love You/I love You”, deep down I told God, “Lord, I really want to love You with all I am.”

From 6th to 8th June, I went for the Bible Trail night sessions. The speaker spoke about trials and tribulations and I really felt like God meant it for me. The week after that, I went for Church Camp 2005. Before the camp, knowing that this was the last in this series of events, I boldly asked God to give me something during this camp that would really change my life forever. During the Church Camp, the speaker taught us about the Lord’s Prayer, and through that teaching, I realised how personal and intimate God wants to be with us. Later on in the camp, we had a Night of Prayer where we came before God just to be still and to listen to Him. As I was still before God, the lyrics of the chorus of the song “Forever” came to me, and deep down, I wished that God would tell me that He loved me. However, I didn’t feel anything, and as some of the church people shared about what God had told them, I began to feel that my wish would not be granted as it was something I should already know. Then our speaker came up last, and he told us that God wanted him to tell all of us, “You are precious to Me. I love you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought back as I didn’t want to cry there. After we dispersed, I looked for someone to talk to, and finding no one, I went by myself to sit on a rock beside a nearby lagoon. As I thought back to what had just happened earlier, I broke down, deeply touched and grateful that God would grant this wish. I sat on the rock for quite long, praying and singing worship songs, and the whole time I couldn’t stop crying. I knew that the wish I had made before the camp had also been granted and that my life and my spiritual walk would never be the same again.

Later on, in July 2005, some church people were giving out baptism forms, encouraging others to get baptised. Somehow, I felt that I wasn’t ready yet as I felt that God had other things to show me first. And He did. He helped me to look back on the problems that I had gone through, and He showed me that I needed to help in preventing others from facing the same difficulties. As I went through NS, I talked to God whenever I encountered problems, knowing that there was nothing I could hide from Him. He became my source of accountability. He also became my mentor and revealed to me areas in my life to change and to work on. Over time, as I trusted God and surrendered to Him, He slowly changed my life and revealed much to me.

In November 2005, God taught me to have faith in prayers. Many times before and during the Newcomer’s Party, the rain stopped the moment we prayed. In December 2005, through the Youth Camp, God reminded me that only what He thinks of me really counts and not to be affected by others’ opinions of me. He also reminded me of the extent of His love that He showed through the cross. At the start of 2006, God showed me my lack of commitment and I decided to live this year with more commitment for what He has given me to do. In January, I also had my own personal “retreat” in camp, during which I committed my new Spiritual Covenant and re-committed the Servant-Leader’s Covenant. Later on, during one service, God reminded me that all the love and comfort that He had showered on me, I deserved none of it, and only by His grace did He do all this for me. I felt deeply grateful for all He had done.

My Christian walk has been an interesting journey filled with joys and pains. Yet, God has guided me through and led me to this stage of baptism. As I continue to walk with God, I pray that my love for Him will continue to grow, that He will continue to draw me closer to Him, and may all I do be pleasing to Him. I pray that even after this baptism, my love for Him will not grow dim, but that He will continue to draw me closer to Him, and may all I do be pleasing to Him.