Past, Passion and Courage
I'm still in the process of changing church... I've actually decided to stay in Trinity, but as of now, there are people in Bible Church whom I've yet to meet up before I fully transit over. I'm leaving for US quite soon though, have to meet up when I'm back in Singapore...
Anyway, I was considering emailing some of these thoughts and reflections to my cell in Trinity (which I do through emails), but some of these things are quite personal so I kind of decided to pen my thoughts on my blog instead. As much as I'm growing quite close to the cell, I still need time to fully open up to the rest...
The sermon on Saturday was on Luke 7 and the speaker spoke about passion. The sermon focused on the sinful woman, Jesus and Simon the Pharisee. The speaker spoke about how the woman had been rejected by society and felt condemned by the Jewish laws, and the 1 thing that gave her hope was Jesus. Against all the stares and glares, she worshipped Jesus with uninhibited passion, and eventually she was vindicated.
Jesus, on the other hand, showed a passion that was pure and uncontaminated by the worldly things. If Simon had been in Jesus' place, he would definitely have rejected the woman. However, Jesus understood her heart and her desire to be forgiven from her past. He viewed the woman not with condemnation and rejection, but with love and acceptance.
There seem to be quite a number of things recently that point back to my past. I still remember those times when I was alone and really wanted friends, often I stuck to people a lot, and unfortunately then weren't as close to me as I was to them, so I often scared them away instead. Making friends seemed so difficult and loneliness seemed to be my best friend. Inevitably, over time, I became more and more self-conscious.
Yet, there is now much that reminds me that I'm not who I was in the past. Some friends see me as a social butterfly, and cannot believe that I once felt so alone that I was in depression. One of the key things I learned from my past was to care for people who are hurting, and this important lesson has also gained me friends who look to me when they are facing problems. However, the self-consciousness is still there, and I still feel that it often ties me down.
One thing I treasure very much about the cell in Trinity is how real everyone is, not afraid to be themselves. I still remember finding back myself during the Surf & Sweat outing much earlier this year. And of course, everyone teases each other. But when the important times come, the cell shows its care for its members. It's a cell that's closely knit and bonded, at the same time also able to integrate newcomers well.
I know, it takes lots of courage to overcome a past that has suppressed me so much. Yet, as I continue to grow in this cell, I want to find the courage to be truly myself, and I feel that relating with the cell is helping with that. I used to have a passion for God that was so much stronger, but so much of me has been consumed by fear. As I grow, someday I will grow free of this chain that has tied me down so much. I've seen so much of what I can do, and I know, someday I can do much much more.
There are some verses from songs that express this very well. The 1st verse is from a song I heard recently, a song that I last heard a LONG time ago (when I was still in JC and visited my friend's church). It's entitled "No Eye Has Seen" and it's by Roger Hodges. The 2nd verse is from "Made to Worship", and it's a verse that stuck in my head from the first time I heard the song.
From No Eye Has Seen:
Jesus take me in Your hand
And make me all that You want me to be
Jesus help me understand
My purpose and what You can do through me
Fulfilling my destiny
From Made to Worship:
When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see
Who we were meant to be
I think, the greatest reminder for me, is that Jesus doesn't see who we were or who we are, but who we are meant to be.
Anyway, I was considering emailing some of these thoughts and reflections to my cell in Trinity (which I do through emails), but some of these things are quite personal so I kind of decided to pen my thoughts on my blog instead. As much as I'm growing quite close to the cell, I still need time to fully open up to the rest...
The sermon on Saturday was on Luke 7 and the speaker spoke about passion. The sermon focused on the sinful woman, Jesus and Simon the Pharisee. The speaker spoke about how the woman had been rejected by society and felt condemned by the Jewish laws, and the 1 thing that gave her hope was Jesus. Against all the stares and glares, she worshipped Jesus with uninhibited passion, and eventually she was vindicated.
Jesus, on the other hand, showed a passion that was pure and uncontaminated by the worldly things. If Simon had been in Jesus' place, he would definitely have rejected the woman. However, Jesus understood her heart and her desire to be forgiven from her past. He viewed the woman not with condemnation and rejection, but with love and acceptance.
There seem to be quite a number of things recently that point back to my past. I still remember those times when I was alone and really wanted friends, often I stuck to people a lot, and unfortunately then weren't as close to me as I was to them, so I often scared them away instead. Making friends seemed so difficult and loneliness seemed to be my best friend. Inevitably, over time, I became more and more self-conscious.
Yet, there is now much that reminds me that I'm not who I was in the past. Some friends see me as a social butterfly, and cannot believe that I once felt so alone that I was in depression. One of the key things I learned from my past was to care for people who are hurting, and this important lesson has also gained me friends who look to me when they are facing problems. However, the self-consciousness is still there, and I still feel that it often ties me down.
One thing I treasure very much about the cell in Trinity is how real everyone is, not afraid to be themselves. I still remember finding back myself during the Surf & Sweat outing much earlier this year. And of course, everyone teases each other. But when the important times come, the cell shows its care for its members. It's a cell that's closely knit and bonded, at the same time also able to integrate newcomers well.
I know, it takes lots of courage to overcome a past that has suppressed me so much. Yet, as I continue to grow in this cell, I want to find the courage to be truly myself, and I feel that relating with the cell is helping with that. I used to have a passion for God that was so much stronger, but so much of me has been consumed by fear. As I grow, someday I will grow free of this chain that has tied me down so much. I've seen so much of what I can do, and I know, someday I can do much much more.
There are some verses from songs that express this very well. The 1st verse is from a song I heard recently, a song that I last heard a LONG time ago (when I was still in JC and visited my friend's church). It's entitled "No Eye Has Seen" and it's by Roger Hodges. The 2nd verse is from "Made to Worship", and it's a verse that stuck in my head from the first time I heard the song.
From No Eye Has Seen:
Jesus take me in Your hand
And make me all that You want me to be
Jesus help me understand
My purpose and what You can do through me
Fulfilling my destiny
From Made to Worship:
When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see
Who we were meant to be
I think, the greatest reminder for me, is that Jesus doesn't see who we were or who we are, but who we are meant to be.
posted by Guangrong at
8:45 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home