Perception change
How do we see ourselves? And how do others see us? Some people, like me, can be so self-conscious and think so negatively of how others will see us. Just this week, I received some encouragements that have made me re-evaluate how I see myself.
One of my perceptions of myself is that whichever girl I like probably wouldn't return the feeling, since I'm not very attractive. Some time ago, however, a friend who doesn't know me very well posted on my Facebook quite unexpectedly. He was asked by Social Interview (a Facebook application) "What kind of girl does Lee Guang Rong like?" He replied (can't remember the exact words but this is the essence of it), "I've no idea, have to ask Guangrong haha. But whichever girl he likes, that girl is the luckiest girl in the whole world." Wow... I didn't know how to reply to that post... was too stunned by his reply to know what to say.
That happened a few months back. Earlier this week, I was talking to my friend about some of her problems. After sharing to me and talking for a while, my friend said, "Guangrong, I think your girlfriend in future will be a very lucky girl, cos you have a very nice character." When she said that, I was immediately reminded of the previous event, even though it was a few months ago. I was quite stunned, didn't know what to say and just told my friend, "Haha I think I'll be the lucky one if she chooses me." My friend replied, "No la, she'll be really lucky to get you as her boyfriend." I forgot what I said after that.
And just yesterday, one of my friends who was having some personal problems called me to look for me. I was in school then, so I went to find my friend and talk to her for a while. I was reminded that the friends who have experienced my love, care and concern treasure me deeply as their friend.
The call with my friend earlier this week was actually already enough to keep me thinking about my self-perception, and the event yesterday added to it. Yes, I've known so many people, but not everyone will appreciate us in the same way. Is it my loss if others don't want to be my friend? I thought so for very long, but through relating with my friends, I've realised that it isn't my loss but the loss of the other person. The friends whom I've accompanied through good and bad times, they treasure me a lot and come to me for their personal issues. It's nice to know that among close friends, you see a side of the person that few others ever see, which is the open, hurting and vulnerable side that they would show to few others. Also, we tend to think people see our negative traits more than our positive traits, which I admit is true for me. But this sem (I realised that even includes my lab this sem) has shown me otherwise. I guess it's probably cos when we're in the lab, I'm thinking more about how my experiment will turn out than what others are thinking of me, so the real side of me has more opportunity to appear.
I've also had to change the perception that "whichever girl I like, she probably wouldn't like me anyway". Since my friend's comments earlier this week, I've been telling myself that if indeed my friend is right, I better choose the girl carefully (and stop worrying about what she thinks of me).
It's been quite a major change in perception, and I'm still adjusting to it... Probably would take some time to get used to.
One of my perceptions of myself is that whichever girl I like probably wouldn't return the feeling, since I'm not very attractive. Some time ago, however, a friend who doesn't know me very well posted on my Facebook quite unexpectedly. He was asked by Social Interview (a Facebook application) "What kind of girl does Lee Guang Rong like?" He replied (can't remember the exact words but this is the essence of it), "I've no idea, have to ask Guangrong haha. But whichever girl he likes, that girl is the luckiest girl in the whole world." Wow... I didn't know how to reply to that post... was too stunned by his reply to know what to say.
That happened a few months back. Earlier this week, I was talking to my friend about some of her problems. After sharing to me and talking for a while, my friend said, "Guangrong, I think your girlfriend in future will be a very lucky girl, cos you have a very nice character." When she said that, I was immediately reminded of the previous event, even though it was a few months ago. I was quite stunned, didn't know what to say and just told my friend, "Haha I think I'll be the lucky one if she chooses me." My friend replied, "No la, she'll be really lucky to get you as her boyfriend." I forgot what I said after that.
And just yesterday, one of my friends who was having some personal problems called me to look for me. I was in school then, so I went to find my friend and talk to her for a while. I was reminded that the friends who have experienced my love, care and concern treasure me deeply as their friend.
The call with my friend earlier this week was actually already enough to keep me thinking about my self-perception, and the event yesterday added to it. Yes, I've known so many people, but not everyone will appreciate us in the same way. Is it my loss if others don't want to be my friend? I thought so for very long, but through relating with my friends, I've realised that it isn't my loss but the loss of the other person. The friends whom I've accompanied through good and bad times, they treasure me a lot and come to me for their personal issues. It's nice to know that among close friends, you see a side of the person that few others ever see, which is the open, hurting and vulnerable side that they would show to few others. Also, we tend to think people see our negative traits more than our positive traits, which I admit is true for me. But this sem (I realised that even includes my lab this sem) has shown me otherwise. I guess it's probably cos when we're in the lab, I'm thinking more about how my experiment will turn out than what others are thinking of me, so the real side of me has more opportunity to appear.
I've also had to change the perception that "whichever girl I like, she probably wouldn't like me anyway". Since my friend's comments earlier this week, I've been telling myself that if indeed my friend is right, I better choose the girl carefully (and stop worrying about what she thinks of me).
It's been quite a major change in perception, and I'm still adjusting to it... Probably would take some time to get used to.
posted by Guangrong at
12:59 am
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