Plans vs Control

Wow the first time that I'm doing 2 blog entries at 1 shot! But this one is more relevant to what happened today.

I mentioned in the previous entry that I didn't get my Inorganic Chemistry lab course. Earlier today, I thought everything seemed to be going fairly well and I was feeling quite hopeful that everything would end up going according to plan! My plan was to take both my Organic Chemistry and Inorganic Chemistry lab courses this quarter (accidentally took both lectures last quarter), and I misinterpreted the Inorganic Chemistry course professor's email, so I thought my chances of getting this course would be quite good. It so did NOT turn out the way I expected!!

It was indeed frustrating to have my plans completely messed up like that, but it made me realise once again how little (or none in some cases) control I have over so many things. Getting into the Inorganic Chemistry lab course was part of my plan, but it was not within my control, it was within God's control, and that just reminded me of how little I had been praying. It was especially striking remembering that I wanted to grow spiritually during my time here, and more urgently, the upcoming Catalina retreat this weekend with ICF, during which I'll be sharing my testimony.

My spiritual walk has pretty much been in shambles. The week of finals, I was so busy with studying, and the week of Spring break after that, I was feeling so miserable that I didn't even feel like praying! Oh man what has happened to me??? I hope this week will be a week of spiritual recovery, probably can only recover so much of my spiritual walk, but with God's grace, He can still use me for this coming retreat.

Wow even like this and my spiritual walk has dropped so much... Now I know why I was in such a bad spiritual state in Singapore...